The Questions That Matter Most
Parent–teacher conference season is here, and if you work in the schools, you feel it. The energy shifts overnight. The screening requests go up. The emails multiply. The hallway whispers of “Can you check on…?” become a daily soundtrack.
But something else happens, too:
We get a chance to deepen our relationships with families especially if we ask the right questions.
Families hold insights we never see at school. They are the experts on their child’s internal world: the routines, the triggers, the celebrations, the long mornings, the skipped breakfasts, the bedtime battles, and all the communication attempts that never make it into our data logs.
This year, before diving into goals and progress reports, let’s center our conversations in connection and context. Here are the questions that make all the difference.
1. “How is your child sleeping?”
Sleep is one of the biggest, most overlooked factors in learning and communication. When children are overtired, we see:
increased is it dysregulation
lower stamina
more difficulty processing language
reduced articulation accuracy
decreased attention
higher emotional reactivity
This question gives families permission to share what’s really happening behind the scenes and reminds them that communication requires a regulated brain.
2. “What does a typical day of eating look like?”
Nutrition is deeply connected to attention, learning, and behavior. This question is not about policing food. It’s about understanding routines and patterns:
Are they skipping breakfast?
Eating mostly snacks?
Struggling with textures or sensory preferences?
Drinking enough water?
Experiencing food insecurity?
Grazing all day but not having full meals?
This opens up conversations grounded in compassion, not judgment and it helps you understand the child’s regulation patterns.
3. “What are your biggest communication concerns right now?”
Families often notice:
unclear speech during play
difficulty making friends
struggles telling stories
frustration with misunderstandings
language mixing
trouble following directions
emotional reactions tied to communication breakdowns
Their priorities help you realign your clinical lens toward what matters most at home not just in the classroom.
4. “What holidays or traditions does your family celebrate?”
This question:
honors identity
helps you avoid culturally insensitive lessons
informs your therapy examples
builds trust
acknowledges that families are not monolithic
Try this free Family Holidays and Traditions Home Survey if you are looking for a resource to help ground this conversation.
5. “Is there anything happening at home that would be helpful for me to know?”
Families might disclose:
new babies
schedule changes
parental work shifts
grief or separation
mental health challenges
housing changes
new responsibilities
financial strain
You can’t solve these things, but knowing them prevents misinterpretation of behavior or sudden changes in performance.
Bonus Questions
Use these when you want a fuller picture:
6. “When do you see your child communicating best?”
This highlights their strengths and gives you clues on how to replicate success at school.
7. “What strategies work well for you at home?”
Families often have simple, genius strategies we can build into therapy and classroom support.
If you want to bring these questions into your own practice, I put together the exact Google Form I’m using with my families this season. It’s designed to be simple, culturally responsive, and centered around the whole child.
You’re welcome to copy it, adapt it, and make it your own.
The more we understand our students’ worlds, the better we support their learning. Small questions lead to big clarity and even bigger connection.
